andrew kau fu

Tonight, we had dinner with my parents (Jerry, Kelvin & me). We were eating Shanghainese food and Jerry was eating his favorite "woh teep" (fried dumplings). He ate large chunks at a time and had difficulty chewing. Mom then tried to get him to stop by telling him an anecdote of a time when Andrew was at a friend's birthday party and he nearly choked to death on a hot dog sausage before pulling the whole thing out of his throat. Back then (perhaps not anymore) Andrew hardly chewed his food; he would scoff it all up. We laughed hard, not b/c he nearly died, but because the way mom told it, it sounded like Andrew pulled up his intestines instead of a hotdog sausage (as the word for sausage and intestines are the same in Canto). Hopefully, Jerry learned something today.

CowCow

It's amazing how our thoughts and actions are interwined even when we are all so far apart. We just returned home from my cousin's baby's full-moon dinner. I logged in and saw Astor's latest comment on my post "Swimmers" about Cowboy. We were actually thinking of and talking about CowCow this morning while taking my parents from the airport.

We were in the car and my parents were trying to engage Jerry in conversation. For some reason, Jerry started on the topic of keeping pets. Apparently, he wants a cat, a dog and a bunny. Then, he was reminded that our apartment does not allow pets. Then, he cleverly thought of a solution, saying, "I have thought of a solution, Gung Gung, you can keep a dog at your home in America..." Everyone can guess that he meant to visit the dog when he can. Mom, being the "NO PETS" type, told him that even Andrew Kau Fu did not get a pet even if he begged. However, he can visit Grand Auntie Kwan's pet when he next visits; 2 Bew Yee has a cute little doggie too.

Kelvin mentioned Cowboy at this point, asking whether Jerry remembers CowCow...the doggie that belonged to Dai Yee Poh. He asked this because Jerry was on friendly terms with Cowboy during his visit to Dallas 3 years ago; they even took a nap together on Yee Mah's bedroom floor (I have a pic somewhere). When Jerry asked where CowCow was, we had to tell him how he accidentally fell in the pool and drowned. Jerry thinks he's probably in heaven.

When we got home tonight, Jerry took it upon himself to tell Marites the "sad story" of Cowboy's drowning (he told her that it's a sad story). He told Marites that when he grows up, he will meet Cowboy again in heaven. Jerry also went to Kelvin and asked if CowCow has become a star (Kelvin told Jerry earlier that when ppl/animals die, they become stars in the sky and watch over us). He then went to the window to the window to see if he could see CowCow (awww). Kelvin told him that since the sky was too bright (it's always too bright in the city), he'll show him the CowCow star another time. He also had a bunch of other questions, like, why did CowCow fall into the water; when did he die? one month ago? 2 months ago? etc etc. We never imagined a casual mention of a dog from long ago wd incite such deep thoughts.

I had opened up the blog to write about this latest episode and was surprised and touched to find Astor's comment. So, it is clear that Cowboy is always in our thoughts.

Add-On: Tonight, at the dinner, Kelvin asked Jerry to take a picture with him and he refused. As you may know, Jerry is in a I-don't-want-my-picture-taken phase. Then, Kelvin told Jerry that he really wanted to take a picture with him, so that, when we (Kelvin & me) become old, we can look at the picture and reminisce about our dear son's childhood. Jerry only agreed after that. He is such a softie. :p

Dance Dance Dance

Singing and dancing are part of J & A's daily routine.

Aaron's mini tantrum

Whilst I did not manage to capture his hilarious display at PoPo's recently, I got him to throw a mini tantrum this morning. Notice Jerry's commentary on the side. The other video is his own work...notice the strength of his arm!

Swimmers

Jerry often asks questions to which I have no intelligent answers. On our way to his swimming lesson yesterday, he asked in succession whether several types of animals know how to swim: cats, dogs, bunnies, etc. When I told him that I didn't think bunnies knew how to swim, he naturally asked why. All I could say was that I didn't know, wasn't sure, and had not thought about that question. Seeing that I was not answering his question, Jerry, of course, came up with his own brilliant answer that God had made the bunny that way. Hopefully, the next time I use that to answer another of his future questions, he will not follow-up by asking why God does what he does.

On the topic of animals, we went to the HK Zoological and Botanical Garden today to visit some animals (sorry, no pics since Jerry doesn't like his pic taken, I did not bother bringing a camera). At the aviary, a bird was perched on a branch which had half a papaya and 2 halves of an apple stuck on it. The bird was feeding on the papaya and Jerry imagined that the bird was calling out to his friends to come share the apple with him. He even verbalised the conversation: "Wei wei, come and share with me, the apple is delicious!" I love it when he role plays, cos then, he gives me a break from answering his difficult questions! ha ha.

Aaron, though stuck at home, was not bored. He went to visit his play pal, cousin Jasper and they both blew raspberries galore. It's too hot for the two of them to venture out, so, indoors playtime is the best thing.

When not playing, Aaron spends time in front of the TV, seriously watching and looking older than he is.

corporal punishment

Yesterday afternoon, Jerry and I were entering the Causeway Bay MTR station to go home from his swimming lesson. In front of us, about 4 feet away, was a mother and her young son (probably 8 or 9 years old). They were holding hands and were advancing towards the station entrance just as Jerry and I were doing.

All of a sudden, without any warning, the mother smacked her son up the side of the head with a force so hard that he almost fell to the floor. The pair continued walking without any pause or revelation of what horrific deed had warranted such horrific punishment.

I let a minute go by before discussing this episode with Jerry as I wanted him to have time to digest what he had witnessed. I asked him whether he saw the mother smack his son and he replied that he had. I then asked him what he thought the boy had done to deserve it and he acknowledged that the boy must have been naughty. I took the chance to tell him that, although a smack up the side of the head may not be a very good move, it was something that a lot of naughty children have to endure. I reminded him that the worst that we have done to him is to hit him on the butt or palms and never up the side of the head. He agreed and pointed out that the mother in our scenario just got it wrong and shouldn't have hit the head.

It is interesting how his analysis coverd the mother's act instead of the boy's and how he took a holistic approach in his understanding. This episode has proven very useful as I can now remind Jerry of the way the smacking and ask him to behave or endure that kind of pain and humiliation. So far, it has worked (imagine, less than one day has passed and I've already had to use threats, which shows how he's becoming quite rebellious and difficult!).

Perhaps, one day, anger would take control and Jerry wd get such a smack...I hope for all our sakes it doesn't happen, but I wonder.

stand-off

Tonite, we had dinner at Popo's place. Both Jerry & Aaron had napped in the car and arrived refreshed and energetic.

After dinner, as we sat around chatting and watching the Olympics (China vs US volleyball), Aaron put on a show for everyone that had us rolling around in laughter. He staged a stand-off with his dad when Kelvin told him not to play with the remote controls (or something like that) and he "talked back" at his dad for quite a long time, babbling and gesturing with his hands. When he stopped doing both, he stood huffing and puffing thru' his nose at his dad for another half minute! Huffing & puffing angrily is something that some of you may have noticed Kelvin doing when particularly upset and sometimes Jerry does the same. Aaron then resumed talking back some more as his dad continued his disapproving lecture (about how he should not play with things that are not toys and that he should stop when told to stop). Popo, Victor, Ho Yee Jeung & I were sitting behind Aaron, facing Kelvin. All of us were working hard to stifle our laughs and Kelvin almost lost the match by starting to laugh himself. Finally, Aaron huffed and puffed some more before walking away in disgust, leaving us to laugh our heads off.

umbrella snatcher

A couple of months ago, I visited the library with Jerry and I left my umbrella. When we returned a week later and asked about the umbrella, it was not in lost and found. Jerry immediately asked why that was so, and I replied that, presumably someone had taken it. Jerry was not pleased about "someone" taking the umbrella that did not belong to that "someone".

Today, as we were on the way to the library, Jerry reminded me about my umbrella, particularly pointing out that it was gone forever (don't know whether his impeccable memory is such a good thing). He asked whether God would be angry at the person who took the umbrella without regard to true ownership, because Jerry was clearly not pleased (after all this time!).

I told him that God would not necessarily be angry because God did not pay particular attention to things like this. It would matter most if that person did not repent his/her wrongdoings, because, in that case, there's a chance that he/she would not make it to heaven. I tried to be as vague as possible.

I didn't want to make a big deal out of "umbrella snatching", as I'm not sure if petty theft of an abandoned umbrella would result in possibly going to hell. But at the same time, I feel that he needs definite answers in most circumstances. I hope that I do not contradict myself too much in answering Jerry's neverending quizzing (feels like a F/B application) and that once he begins to study religion(s) himself, he would not find too many of my errors. (As a non-practising [Catholic/Christian/Anything], I'm not sure I know/believe in God as much as this task requires.)

Aaron & Wii

Since this blog is titled J & A, I suppose it is obligatory to write about A after having written about J.

It is apparent to anyone who knows them or has met them both (recently) that Jerry and Aaron are two very different boys in terms of interests, temperament and style. However, it appears that they do have in common their sensibility.

Today was witness to Aaron expressing some emotions through crying, but under different circumstances and to a different effect. Although Aaron cannot yet verbalize his feelings, he has developed clear communication skills (mostly from imitating his older brother). So, what happened was this:

This afternoon, Aaron, climbed atop one of our ottomans, making his way towards the DVD player, aiming for the controls. He has already learned (quite independently) that the eject button would always produce a reaction from the machine. Marites called out to him to stop and he did. However, he did not stay clear of the area. He merely stayed where he was, waiting for Marites to have her back turned (which did not happen). I was sitting on the sofa, watching to see what his next move would be. While glancing ocassionally at Marites, Aaron made one more attempt at the DVD player. Since Marites had not budged, he grudgingly retreated.

After descending from the ottoman, he made his way to the Wii console, which is stationed about three feet away to his right. He had grabbed the console and began exploring it, prompting me to call out to him to stop. I also added that he was "naughty naughty (yai yai)". At this, he paused ever so briefly and started to bawl. He did not just cry, he threw himself at the sofa and began pounding the sofa desperately with his palms, with his eyes turned on me. He then arose and returned to where the Wii console was, began muttering whilst looking back at me and Marites (who was nearby in the kitchen) alternately. His muttering seemed to say that he was upset with us, didn't see what the fuss was about as he was only messing with the Wii console, which seems like such a fun, innocent and accessible toy.

We duly ignored him and he continued his crying and muttering for a while longer, until he found his older brother. He took his complaints to Jerry, hoping for vengeance perhaps, or maybe some consoling. The funniest part was Jerry's response, when he proclaimed, self-righteously, that his baby brother was "very naughty" ("ho yai"). That actually put an end to Aaron's display and he resigned himself to the less fascinating remote controls which have become his special toys since babyhood.

When Jerry was younger (and even now) he never took interest in the electronics or electrical appliances and never cared to climb up and down anywhere. Now, Aaron is doing his own part as well as his older brother's share in those adventures and have become triple the toddler that Jerry was. How many more years of this "spiritedness", I wonder?! (Hope he turns out to be less of a talker, so as to balance things out! :p)

Jerry & Heaven

Today, Jerry surprised me with some questions which were quite amazing, amusing and touching at the same time. The incident has affected me so much that it has inspired me to start this blog.

It was late in the afternoon and Jerry was taking a break from watching T.V. (which has become a daily ritual now that he's on summer vacation). Suddenly, he asked, "When the Heavenly Father takes you (directing at me) to heaven, does He let you come back after a time?" I told him, matter-of-factly, "No, if I went to heaven, I would stay there." Upon hearing this, he started crying (with his head on the ground, like someone suffering a great loss) and mumbling, "I don't want to grow up, I want to be a little boy forever". I asked him why and in reply, he just cried harder.

I guess that he meant that if he stayed young forever, then he and the people around him would not have to "go to heaven". He then went on to say that he would miss me a lot, if I went to heaven. I told him that I wasn't going to heaven so soon, and besides, he wouldn't stay with us forever. When he grew up, he would move away, perhaps with his own family. At this, he protested that he never wants to move away because he was afraid he would never see us again if he did (oh, right :p, I wonder if he would feel the same way when he's a teenager). I explained that his father and I also did not live with our parents, but we still see each other occasionally.

He continued crying and said that he was afraid that he would forget what we look like (if he moved away from home). I assured him that it was unlikely. He protested some more that he didn't want to move away or live away from home but changed the subject abruptly by asking whether I would eventually die and go to heaven but then return (like, for a visit). I told him that I would perhaps go to heaven, and when I am there, I would be waiting for him and we could meet again in heaven. He found that answer distressing too and wished that I wouldn't die (obviously, I told him that I wasn't about to die, just yet, anyhow).

His next concern was in the event that I died and his Dad died, and Marites also died, then who would take care of him and his brother. At that, I began tearing up and thought hard for a believable answer. I suggested to him Tickle YeeYee and Andrew KauFu (being younger than the three who would die) and he readily agreed. He eventually stopped the sobbing and then asked whether it was time to watch the Doraemon movie which he rented yesterday! LOL! So much for the beautifully sad scene that he created and demolished in a matter of 2 minutes.

What amazes me is the profundity of his questioning and the underlying logic that he has applied. All the above coming from a four year-old is foreshadowing of what is to come in the next, say, 10 to 15 years...

>_< but ^o^ at the same time...